Difficult People, Episode 308 "Criminal Minds"


Difficult People, Episode 308 "Criminal Minds"

Released by Hulu: September 12, 2017


**This recap contains spoilers so read at your own peril. Your best bet is to watch the episode first, then come back here.*


Episode 308 opens on Julie and Billy stopping in a pizza joint so Julie can use their bathroom, “and eat their pizza, at different times.” The guy behind the counter tells her the bathroom is for employees only. 

“But I’m pregnant,” she tells him. He comes from behind the counter, looks her up and down and says, “Of course you are.”

He offers to help her down the stairs since the bathroom is in the basement. At the top of the stairs, he takes Julie’s hand, which she yanks away, sending him flying down the stairs.

“Are you dead?” she yells. Don’t worry, he’s not.

At home, Arthur wakes up at 3:00 a.m. to find Julie in front of the TV watching Criminal Minds because she’s depressed. Arthur asks her advice with a work problem. 

He wants to know if he should write thank you notes to all the viewers who donate to PBS. His bossy, Gabby, told him not to. “Fudge it,” he says. He’s gonna write those notes anyway!

At Hot Toddy’s place, he and Billy are watching Denise Richards movies (my fave is Love, Actually, because she’s only in it for about 30 seconds). 

Hot Toddy invites Billy to spend the night. Neither of them can sleep.

At the café, Billy recounts how he couldn’t sleep at Hot Toddy’s. Billy and Hot Toddy have decided to stay in a fancy hotel and have a staycation, to see if they can sleep better.

Billy’s gonna AirBnB his place to make some extra money. Marilyn comes in to see Julie because she needs her permission to print some photos of Julie in her book.

She shows her a picture of Julie with her improv group and Julie’s surprised she’s smiling. She was happy then!

Matthew saunters in looking like Lola, screaming how Bush did 9/11.

Lola’s not happy. Matthew’s auditioning for RuPaul’sDrag Race. Crossover episodes, please. My worlds are colliding and I LOVE IT.

At Veronica’s office, Marilyn presents the first of her book chapters. Veronica hates them, “They’re horrible.”

She thinks they should put the book on hold because “There’s nothing interesting about your life.” 

She won’t publish it. Marilyn steals some of Matthew’s crazy backstory and presents it to Veronica as her own. That’s enough for Veronica. She’s back on board!

At Billy’s some tourist Air BnBers show up to rent his studio apartment for the weekend.

He gives them the grand tour, the bowl of change, the window. He steps in the shower stall while they privately/not all privately discuss if they’re going to take it or not, in their native language.

They decide to take it.

Back at the café, Marilyn wants to get to know Matthew better, probably to steal more of his life story for her book.

And wow, his story about Jib-Jab’s death is a doozy. There’s a gator and a ball gown. And it was Christmas!

Julie meets up with the members of her old improv group, one of whom, Ray, is played by David Krumholtz who I once sat next to on a plane and I would like you to know: he was very nice.

Julie gets annoyed because no one wants to relive her greatest improv hits, like her impression of Carol Channing at the dentist (which is hilarious). Instead they want to talk to Ray about his special needs newborn. The nerve!

Billy calls her from the hotel. Hot Toddy’s fast asleep but Billy can’t catch a wink.

Julie thinks maybe she was happy during improv days because of all that Yes, And-ing it required. ...

Billy tells her to do that starting right now. So she does. She yes and’s herself into confessing she slept with Chuck, Melissa’s boyfriend, on Christmas Eve in 2000. 

As it turns out, Chuck died that night. So now they all think she was the last person to see him alive.

They’re all bummed out. Except Julie, who slips back into her Carol Channing at the dentist impression.

At the hotel, Hot Toddy reveals he was pretending to sleep, not actually sleeping.

He suggests they do the most exhausting thing they can think of so they’ll be so tired, they’ll HAVE to fall asleep. The most exhausting thing Billy can think of is calling his cousin Jeannie and asking her why she took a break from social media. 

Hot Toddy suggests doing tourist bullshit.

They strike up a convo with a couple of tourists, played by Dylan Baker and Cady Huffman, who’ve been to the Big Apple “a buncha times.” Billy and Hot Toddy pretend they’re from New Mexico.

They decide to all four hang out for the day.

At Marilyn’s, Matthew tells her some more of his stories.

She asks Matthew to take her author photo, “t*ts, glasses, and pencil in mouth.”

At PBS, Arthur is finishing up a personalized thank you note to a viewer - HANDWRITTEN.

He discovers that the addresses for all the viewers who contributed to PBSare all the same. How can this be? He calls Julie at home and she answers his call, “Criminal Minds, Paget Brewster.”

He tells her, “Intrigue is afoot!”

She hangs up on him because her improv group is over. She pulls out a bong and starts to smoke. 

Ray asks her not to do that near his special needs infant. She ignores him. 

Melissa wants to talk to Julie about Chuck’s death some more. His mom has a lot of questions she’d like answers to. Uh oh.

Julie hits play on the VCR because she wants to watch one of their old improv shows together. Naturally, it’s her doing her Carol Channing at the dentist impression.

They are not into it. But she is. Melissa stops the tape. “Do you remember Chuck’s last words? Did he mention his Mom?” Julie slips back into yes and-ing, “Yes and he forgives her.”

At Marilyn’s author photo photo shoot, she’s still trying to get more details from Matthew about his life while he barks directing orders at her for the photo, “You’re cold! You’re a shivering little baby!”

In Times Square, Hot Toddy is exhausted and thinks he can actually take a nap. The tourists say they have no trouble sleeping next to each other. Billy wants to know how long they’ve been married. 

They’re not. She’s Lucy the vacation prostitute. He can’t even sleep in the same room with his actual wife. Hot Toddy responds, “Thank you for illustrating our fears with examples.”

The tourists think they’re going to swing. But they’re not. “Why the hell did you spend the day with us, if you didn’t wanna swing?”

Billy and Hot Toddy immediately leave.

Ray and Melissa take Julie to a hospital.

Chuck didn’t get along well with his mom and Julie, they think, can give her closure. His mom, played by Jessica Walter (Lucille Bluth!) is very sick.

She wants to know, “What were his last words?” Julies says his last words were, “Tell my mother I forgive her.” But his mom says the last words he said to her were, “I’ll never forgive you.” 

She tells Julie how glad Chuck was his beloved Yankees had won their game that day. And Julie agrees.

Ah-ha! Chuck’s mom catches Julie in a lie. Chuck hated redheads, and he hated the Yankees! And he hated Christmas Eve! And there were no baseball games on Christmas Eve!

She screams, “This c*nt murdered my son!”

At PBS, Gabby wanders in because Arthur called her in the middle of the night due to the intrigue that’s afoot, “Every viewer like you lives at the same address.” So he checked the address. It’s Larry the CableGuy!  

His demo wouldn’t want to know how passionate he is about British television shows and the PBS demo doesn’t want to know all the money is coming from Larry the Cable Guy. She urges him to LET IT GO!

He agrees to forget all about it.

Marilyn goes back to Matthew’s place for some shoes she forgot, and it’s startling. There are pictures of her blown up and hanging all over the walls. Then Matthew comes out, dressed just like her.

They play a little mirror, mirror, and it’s funny.

He explains that Marilyn is the inspiration for his new drag persona, Doctor Marilycious. 

At the hotel, Hot Toddy and Billy still can’t sleep. Billy’s been passing the time on Instagram. And he found his Air BnBers. They’re nudists!

Hot Toddy yells, “Nudists are worse than swingers because their lifestyle isn’t sexual!”

They decide to go to his place to kick them out. But not before Billy screengrabs a shot of the guy.

At the hospital, Julie screams, “I did not kill Chuck!” But her timeline is off and her facts keep changing. She admits she never even met him, she was just yes and-ing. Melissa isn’t convinced, 

“How dare you use improv terminology to cover up a homicide!”

Another patient in the same room yells at them to shut up. Of course it’s the pizza guy that fell down the stairs in the beginning.

“You’re that pregnant b*tch that threw me down a flight of stairs!”

Julie grabs her bong and heads home. She tells Billy on the phone she’s done with yes and-ing.

Billy and Hot Toddy disinfect his apartment top to bottom. Then they fall asleep!

Awesome nicknames Arthur calls Julie in this episode:

Equifax (timely!)
Game change

Throwaway jokes I loved:

- Julie: What do you think John Landis’s worst contribution to society is? His alleged manslaughter or his son Max?

- Lola greeting Marilyn at the café: Sit anywhere. Question everything. Specials on the board.

- Matthew to Marilyn: Oh you look familiar, which is the word I use for Jewish.

- Julie to Billy re: insomnia: Why don’t I just meet you in the lobby with a sock full of Klonopin and you can Cosby yourself?

Did I leave anything out? Let me know. Until next week....

Speaking of next week, here's your synopses from Hulu, for next week's episode (my fave thus far), "Sweet Tea:"

Julie considers trading her showbiz dreams for a life of happy crafting as Billy sickens of New York City. Arthur is over his job, and Marilyn experiences writer’s block. Meanwhile a visit from Lola’s sorority may hold the answer to all of their problems.

*All photos courtesy of Hulu, unless otherwise noted.

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