Difficult People, Episode 305 "Cindarestylox"
Released by Hulu: August 22, 2017
**This recap contains spoilers so read at your own peril. Your best bet is to watch the episode first, then come back here.**
This episode opens on Julie and Billy trying to buy a diet coke from a food vendor in Central Park, but first, the food vendor wants her to smile. Which is THE WORST. When she argues with him, he refuses to sell her a diet coke.
At Julie’s apartment, she hands over a stack of packages she’s accepted on behalf of her hipster neighbor Lizzie, played by your fave and mine, Jane Krakowski. Julie tells her she’s doesn’t want to sign for her dumb packages anymore but Lizzie doesn’t want to leave them in the hallway because they’ll get stolen. Julie responds, “That is not my problem, b*itch.”
Julie thinks just because Lizzie smiles all the time, she thinks can get whatever she wants, “That’s not how the world works!”
At the café, Matthew tells Billy he’s going to audition as “bait” for the reboot of To Catch A Predator.
On the street, Marilyn runs into an old friend, Shelly, played by Susan Lucci, who never ages in real life. Shelly tells Marilyn that her granddaughter is her “fountain of youth,” which gets Marilyn thinking that SHE needs a grandchild.
At his cater-waitering gig, the quinceañera for Anna Wintour’s housekeeper, Billy runs into his 6th grade acting teacher, Mr. Passias, played by Victor Garber.
Mr. Passias has started his own acting school, The Greeklings and he wants Billy to teach at his school.
At Julie’s, the delivery guy drops off another of Lizzie’s packages with Julie. Naturally, he tells her to smile before he leaves.
Angry, Julie steals the package and opens it. It’s a golden toilet seat, a Japanese one! The music from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory plays in the background (the good 1971version, not the bad Tim Burton one).
Marilyn steps into what she thinks is a Pinkberry, but what turns out instead to be a national chain of egg-freezing stores - which gives her a brilliant idea.
She goes to the café and tells Julie, “Where can we go in private to talk about me giving you money to freeze your eggs?”
Julie and her Mom take a walk. When Marilyn offers her an envelope full of cash for her to freeze her eggs, she spots a sign above a business for freezing fat - Original Ray’s Med Spa.
Inside, her clinician, played by Coco Austin, tells her that with fat freezing, she also gets Cindarestylox treatment for free, which “smooths out the lines. FDA examined.”
After her treatment, Julie has a permanent smile plastered on her face.
At home, she explains to Arthur that her face is frozen into a smile and that the pain is excruciating. He gestures to a post-it note on their fridge:
Taking her cue, she asks, “How was your day, Arthur?” Lizzie knocks on the door looking for her “stolen” package. With Julie’s new, fake smile, Lizzie thinks she “seems fun.”
At the Greeklings school, Billy teaches the kids how to act.
He tells them to take notes, “The Fat Jewish says that acting is reacting.” The student who writes Dear Evan Hansen fan fiction asks Billy when they’re going to rehearse for the industry showcase, to Billy’s surprise.
At the café, Julie tells Billy to pull a “Tom Cruise” and cast himself next to weaker actors so the audience will only watch HIM.
Julie’s going to moderate a panel for the Women To Watch issue of the magazine she recaps for (ahem).
Matthew shows everyone his audition tape for the reboot of To Catch A Predator and it’s fantastic. First, he’s on roller skates. Second, Nate and Lola are unwilling co-stars. He offers Nate cookies and screams in a child-like voice, “You wanna f*ck me now?” It’s horrible and hilarious, all at once.
At her apartment, Marilyn wants to know if Julie actually did freeze her eggs. Because she’s permanently smiling, Marilyn’s happy.
Julie’s afraid her Cindarestylox will wear off so she goes to get more, right before she moderates the Women To Watch panel.
At the Greeklings industry showcase, Billy proceeds to insert himself into every single scene, even singing about being gay in one. They. Are. All. Amazing. Also, Billy should sing more, he’s good!
At Shelly’s party, her son storms in, accusing her of using his daughter’s stem cells to shoot into her face to make her look younger. The cops come in and arrest her.
Back at the Women To Watch panel, one of the panelists is offended at Julie’s smiling reaction to their painful stories about their work.
At home, Julie’s neighbor Lizzie is back to accuse her of stealing her golden toilet. Julie lies and says she didn’t take it. Julie’s face slowly goes back to normal! Yay! But since she’s not smiling, Lizzie doesn’t believe her, she takes back her golden toilet seat.
At the café, a clip of the reboot of To Catch A Predator is on TV. To their horror, they see Mr. Passias as the predator. He wants to take off his pants, “Hey, Chris Hanson.”
Awesome nicknames Arthur calls Julie in this episode:
Throwaway jokes I loved:
- Julie re: her Lyft driver: I’m gonna give that driver what the CW has in its Fall lineup – ZERO STARS.
- Billy re: cater-waitering: You try serving little mini quiches to Jared Kushner without wanting to stick a gun in your mouth!
- Julie: By the way, I’m sorry I’m smiling like Burke Ramsey talking to Dr. Phil about his dead sister. It’s only because I can’t not.
- Julie, with plastered smile on: I’m not joking. I’m not a joker. Why so serious?
Did I leave anything out? Let me know. Until next week....
Speaking of next week, per Hulu, here's what we can look forward to:
Julie and Arthur stumble into sexual roleplay, while Billy worries he’s been miscast as a supportive spouse at Todd’s work parties. Meanwhile, Julie’s dogs become social media stars without Julie’s consent, and Marilyn re-unites with a former lover from her free-spirited youth.
*All photos courtesy of Hulu, unless otherwise noted.